


I Ain't Saying He's a Gold Digger...

by TheGreatKelthulhu



Category: Archer (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Male-Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-28 06:11:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14443065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreatKelthulhu/pseuds/TheGreatKelthulhu
Summary: Archer runs into an old ex while out with a new friend. Assumptions are made.





	I Ain't Saying He's a Gold Digger...

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt from a list I found whilst browsing le web.  
> Izzy is my OC, and she met Archer in a fic I'm co-writing with a friend. Now, they're unlikely friends.  
> (Also I made up Bette clayton, yes.)

“He’s a gold-digger. He’ll screw anyone and cozy up to them as long as they’re rich!”

Izzy raised an eyebrow at the woman--short, well-dressed, and with a mess of curly chestnut hair and a lovely face which was now unfortunately twisted into a bitter expression--and guffawed. 

“I’m not...you think we’re…” she pointed to Archer, who was standing next to her, “I’m not schtumping him, honey. Not even close.” 

“Yeah, no,” Archer laughed. 

“Sure. You say that _now_ …” The woman rolled her dark hazel eyes. “But you wait--”

“Do you _honestly_ think that I’d ever have sex with **him**?” Izzy interrupted, hoisting her purse up higher on her shoulder. “I mean, _please _. Nothing about him would **possibly** stir my loins.” __

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__“Hey!” Archer glared at her._ _

__“He’s more like the older brother I never had, and not **entirely** certain I want.”__

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The woman crossed her arms and pursed her plump, pink-painted lips.  
“Fine,” she said, finally, “I just thought I should warn you. One woman to another." 

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She hoisted her own purse--a Louis Vuitton, Izzy noted--upon her shoulder and pointed her immaculately manicured finger at Archer.  
“And you! I hope I _never_ see you again!” 

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__And with that, she turned on her spike heels and flounced out of the Sephora store, leaving Archer and Izzy to digest what the hell had just happened._ _

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__“Who the hell was that?” Izzy laughed, “And why does she hate you so much?”_ _

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__"Uh…” Archer paused to think. “Oh yeah, ex-girlfriend. Bette Clayton, or something like that. Some heiress of some glue company.”_ _

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__“Ex? That explains **so** much.” __

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___“Shut up.”_ _ _

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___Izzy shook her head, still giggling, then turned back to the makeup they’d been perusing before being so unceremoniously interrupted.  
“Anyway, yes. I think Lana will like this Fenty set. They’re definitely flattering colours for her, and it’s compact so she can take it anywhere. Even on a mission.” _ _ _

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___“Alright then,” Archer pulled his wallet from his pocket and started counting out some bills. “Happy birthday, Lana. You better like this.”_ _ _

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End file.
